Literature – creative literature – unconcerned with sex, is inconceivable.

I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.

To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you’re impotent. She can’t wait to disprove it.

I have tried sex with both men and women. I found I liked it.

You can’t have rock and roll without drugs, you can’t have rock and roll without sex.

Sex is like money; only too much is enough.

I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

Sex is the best high. It’s better than any drug. I want to die making love because it feels so good.

Sex is the driving force on the planet. We should embrace it, not see it as the enemy.

Love is an ice cream sundae, with all the marvellous coverings. Sex is the cherry on top.

Remember, sex is like a Chinese dinner. It ain’t over ’til you both get your cookie.

I just feel like every kid is growing up too fast and they’re seeing too much. Everything is about sex, and that’s fine for me. I’m not saying I don’t like it. But I don’t think it should be everywhere, where kids are exposed to everything sexual. Because

I need more sex, OK? Before I die I wanna taste everyone in the world.

Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was ‘the man goes on top and the woman underneath.’ For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

You can’t talk about fucking in America, people say you’re dirty. But if you talk about killing somebody, that’s cool.

I write about sex because often it feels like the most important thing in the world.

Sex is great until you die, but it’s never as great as it was when you were a kid, when it was a mystery.

The only unnatural sex act is that which you cannot perform.

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects.

I remember the first time I had sex — I kept the receipt.

Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature.

How did sex come to be thought of as dirty in the first place? God must have been a Republican.

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

My mother told me that life isn’t always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you have to do things for the sole benefit of another human being. I completely agreed with her, but reminded her that that was what blow jobs were for.

Sex is always about emotions. Good sex is about free emotions; bad sex is about blocked emotions.

You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

But when a woman decides to sleep with a man, there is no wall she will not scale, no fortress she will not destroy, no moral consideration she will not ignore at its very root: there is no God worth worrying about.

My first time I jacked off, I thought I’d invented it. I looked down at my sloppy handful of junk and thought, This is going to make me rich.

I couldn’t possibly have sex with someone with such a slender grasp on grammar!

Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food.

If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.

Good sex is like good bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.

Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.

I don’t know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food and companionship. She goes Mondays, I go Fridays.

Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible.

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.

Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?

Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.

The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon.

Everything that can be invented has been invented.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.